Ever wondered why babies have perfect skin? Yes, I know they’re brand new and haven’t desecrated themselves yet with hard liquor, tobacco and the kind of crisps that come in ‘tangy cheese’ flavour, but I mean the real reason they have perfect skin? What – because we’re all supposed to pretend that the fact they’ve had the nicest skincare products on the planet used on them since day one has nothing to do with it?
Well, I don’t buy it. But I do buy baby products for myself – en masse. Here’s why: I don’t like to pour perfume on my skin. It burns off dermal layers I’ve grown fond of, it stings like hell, and if God had wanted to punish women daily in the way he clearly does men, he would have created female aftershave.